


Lost

by Angelicat2



Series: Wings [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Wings, Can Take Place During Season 3, Flashbacks, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Keith is Heartbroken, M/M, Nightmares, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Graphic Violence, POV Keith (Voltron), Post-Season/Series 02, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-11 17:00:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13528659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelicat2/pseuds/Angelicat2
Summary: Shiro disappears. Keith unravels into his nightmares, which include what happened to his wings."Where is he?" He begged as he rested his hands on its pedals, "We need to find him. He's the Black Paladin. I can't lead like him. I can't lead like you."





	Lost

Keith felt his world shift and his body turn cold. Shiro...

Shiro couldn't be _gone._

But he was. Black's pilot seat was empty, bayard still inside. Keith stared with a mixture of disbelief, numbness, and sadness running through his veins.

He couldn't have...he already lost him once, he couldn't lose him again. Before anyone near him could speak, he raced out of the lion. Spreading his wings, he took off into the air as he rushed for his lion. Ignoring the others' shouts over his helmet, he raced out of the hangar with Red.

Red didn't protest, instead choosing to growl that it was with him. It must have been able to feel his pain through their paladin bond. He felt something warm within him as he flew onward. At least he had Red by his side even if no one else was.

A dark circular pattern formed in the air, a wormhole created by his lion.

"Thanks, kitty," Keith wrapped his wings around himself without thought. Although the seat adjusted for his wings, not that they were that big anyway, he needed the comfort they gave. Last time, he hadn't had them while in the desert.

_"Put him under. His wings must be..."_

He jerked out of his memories. Red let out a purr of concern as it gave him a picture of Shiro in his mind, smile intact and wings spread out. Keith frowned at himself as they moved forward to the wormhole. He couldn't afford to go into another flashback. He really hadn't gotten them since that day Lance had been a jerk in the living room. Why the younger teen hated him, he didn't know, and it kind of hurt that any progress they made was thrown away by the Cuban.

_"It's not like he'll be your soulmate much longer anyway."_

"Damn it!" He exclaimed as he tried to focus. His heart was beating fast, the blood pumping in his ears. He pulled on his soulmate bond, but got no response, just an awkward tug as if Shiro didn't exist. It didn't feel like when his bond had been broken. He nearly screamed as he yanked Red's pedal. Launching into the hole, he felt the familiar pull of the wormhole.

Seconds later, he flashed out of it to arrive at what had been a fight scene moments ago. Now, no Galran ships nor the Central Command were to be found. Debris littered the bloody-colored sky in patches of dark and cold metal. Keith began his frantic search as Red pushed and rolled through objects. He scanned the area over and over as he attempted to connect with Shiro. Nothing worked.

"Shiro," Keith refused to let the tears fall, "Where are you?"

_He stared up into the quiet night as a coyote howled in the far distance. The stars twinkled softly as a comet shot past the dark sky. Where his wings had been only two days ago burned like they had been set on fire. He knew they'd scar over where they had been removed...stolen._

_'I'm sorry,' he echoed in his head for what must have been the hundredth time in the past hour, 'I'm so sorry.'_

_He missed the weight they held on his back. He missed flying because nothing could possibly touch him in the sky. He missed not having to rely on a hover bike to get anywhere. But most importantly, he missed Shiro._

_"Where are you?" The tears fell slowly as his vision blurred, "I need..."_

"You," Keith spoke as he came back to reality. He searched for another hour before Red forced him back to the castle. He didn't protest, no energy left to try to stop the mechanical beast. When he was at the hangar, he petted the lion's console before walking down its ramp.

Waiting at the bottom were the others, and Keith didn't know how to respond. He was glad they actually cared enough to make sure he came back, but at the same time, he couldn't handle being around them. He didn't want to snap at them because what if they left? Most people did it. Only Shiro didn't.

They began to greet him when he trudged by them without saying anything. He didn't miss the shared looks of worry or the pitying expressions. If he weren't so numb, Keith would have been angry. But he couldn't find it in himself to care.

Shiro was gone again.

\-----

Days went by as he scoured the same sights for even a hint of where Shiro could possibly be. Sometimes, the other would help him search, but they were never out as long as he was. He tried his connection with the man until he almost passed out from exhaustion. He did nothing other than train, search, and sleep when he could. The nightmares and insomnia usually only let him get a few hours on a normal night. Now, he was lucky if he got an hour of sleep.

_"Keith, if I don't make it out of here," Shiro's voice echoed in his head as he drove on, "I want you to lead Voltron."_

He wouldn't let the others know about the conversation. They didn't know he flew the Black Lion while on the planet. They didn't know Shiro wanted him to be the leader in his...absence. They didn't know that is what they had talked about on the ride to the Blade of Marmora's base.

\-----

Days turned into weeks which became months. Keith searched every single day, moving from system to system in the hopes of finding his soulmate. The others had given up a long time ago, likely thinking Shiro was dead. But Keith refused to do the same.

_"Cadet," Iverson shouted as Keith glared at the man, his scarlet wings stretched out to their full length, "Drop it. Captain Shirogane is dead in space. He's the one who got his crew killed."_

_"You're lying!" He yelled angrily as he pointed to the screen with the broadcasting of the Kerberos mission, "Shiro didn't crash. There is no 'pilot error,' and you know it."_

_"Cadet," the instructor started, but Keith had enough. Turning away, he ran from the room with clenched fists as the faces of the staff, students, and other people blurred by. Keith could hear the thoughts from Shiro. He was worried, a little nervous about his next fight in the Arena, and resigned. Keith sent back his own feelings, being lost without him as his constant grounding force. Knowing exactly what to do, he raced to his dorm. Preparing his items into a bag, which only consisted of his dagger, the worn-leather crop-top jacket he had never worn, some cash he'd saved over the years, and a standard set of Garrison clothes that had no holes for wings, he put it on his shoulder._

_Sneaking out into the night, he tucked the stuff into the vehicle. Nearly ready to go, he looked up at the starry night. He was going to find and protect Shiro...wherever he was._

He stared at the maps in the castle again for the thousandth time. By now, he had gotten the whole galaxy committed to memory and could name just about any planet, star system, or belt. But none of this was getting him any closer to Shiro. He grounded his teeth together as he pushed the nearest image away. None of this was bringing Shiro back.

"Why is he in here again?" Keith heard Lance demand from the other side of the door to the room as he typed something, "Doesn't he ever rest?"

"Lance," Pidge warned as the door opened, but the part-Galran man didn't pay any attention to them, "Be nice."

"Why should I?" Keith nearly rolled his eyes but instead, exited out of another two windows, "We've been fighting to free planets, and he hasn't helped at all. It's been months."

_"It's been months, Shiro," Keith stated as his hand landed on one of the lion carvings as if his soulmate were right next to him, "It's been months. Since I could feel our bond. Since my wings were...taken. Since I've come into contact with other people. Not that I mind, I'm used to being alone. I...I just...I want, no...I need you here."_

_He felt the cold grooves under his fingers as he leaned his side into the wall._

_"I didn't know I'd miss you this much once you got past my walls," he slid down onto the damp ground, "And it's killing me when you're away. Just come back."_

"Mullet?" The voice broke him out of his memories as he stared at Lance, "You sleeping or something?"

"I'm awake," he grumbled as he got back to shuffling through the charts and diagrams. The others stayed silent, but he knew they were sending each other glances behind his back.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he stated in the same tone as he shoved a folder away.

"You don't look okay, man," Hunk stated from a few feet beside him, "When is the last time you've slept?"

Keith had honestly lost track of how much sleep he had gotten. The nightmares had only gotten worse with time, and he was too busy looking for Shiro to be sleeping. He was lucky if he ate most days.

"I'm fine," he paused to glance at them before typing something else, "Just busy."

"You're always busy," Lance concluded as he leaned closer to Keith, "You have to stop sometime."

"I'm not giving up on Shiro," he growled as he glared at the pictures in front of him.

"Come on," Lance pushed on, and Keith felt his anger rise, "Shiro would wan-"

"You don't know what Shiro would want!" He yelled as he stood up and slammed his fists on the table, his wings in position to carry him into the air as he glared at the younger man, "So don't say it. You want me to move on? Fine...Find Shiro."

"Who made you the leader?" The Cuban demanded as his wings ruffled up, and Keith felt something sharp and burning snap within him, "You-"

"Shiro did!" He shouted as he threw his arms out as the built-up tension in his body begged to be released, "But I don't want it. You can have it! I don't want to be the leader, I want Shiro back!"

_He held his soulmate's jacket to his chest as he curled up on the ratty couch. He wasn't going to cry, but he could feel the pull of something painful in his chest as he ran a thumb over the olive green sleeves._

"And until we find him, there is no Voltron," Keith pushed away from the table as his wings threw him into the air. Faster than he had almost ever flown, he raced out of the room.

\-----

_He stared up at the starry sky. Shiro's clothes and few possessions were safe at their shack. Putting his thumb to the DNA recognition device, he was ready to start the engine when a noise was heard from behind him. Flying into the air and performing a back flip, he saw that three larger man were trying to sneak up on him._

_He fought them. The first went down as he dived and kicked him in the last second. The second had gotten hit in the backlash of the first, and both smacked into the dusty pavement. The third pulled out a needle filled with a clear liquid. Keith glared as he brought both fists up. A few punches later, the man was unconscious along with the other two._

_Hopping onto his ride, he never noticed the swoosh of the net until something solid slammed into his wings, wrapping around them so tightly that he cried out in pain. Tipping to the side, he fell onto the asphalt with a loud thud. Both arms were trapped in the net, and he knew he couldn't get back to his feet like this. Thrashing in place, he just got part of his left wing out when he felt something sharp bite his neck. Glancing up, he saw another figure kneel next to his side as he felt the rope tighten until he could barely breathe and his arms burned. Letting out a choked call, everything faded into darkness as he started to feel them drag him away._

_What felt like moments later, he woke up with a pounding headache. His stomach flipped as he let out a groan, and hands were suddenly tugging on his face. Pulling away, he couldn't move his body, and his eyes opened quickly. His vision swam as he looked around. He was strapped to a table, every appendage pinned to the thing. Two people leaned over him dressed in hazmat suits, and he glared as they poked him with a device._

_The figure who had knocked him out came up to him now. He didn't know how he knew, but a low hiss left his mouth as he pulled his head back as far as it could go. The man ignored him as he grabbed a few instruments from the tray nearby._

_"Put him under. His wings must be removed while he's paralyzed. He has to be awake for the procedure to see if we've successfully removed the bond."_

_Keith felt himself panic, yanking and pulling to get free from the restraints. He could feel Shiro's concern and curiosity through the bond, but his thoughts were a frantic mess as the needle came closer to his arm. Trying to kick or make some type of loud noise, he froze when his wing was twisted. Letting out a cry of hurt, he didn't see when the assistant had injected the drug into his arm until he felt it take hold of him._

_It felt like his veins had been dipped in ice water, and he couldn't move anything. He tried to flap a wing or wiggle a toe, but it didn't work. Shiro was demanding to know what was happening, but Keith could barely think over his panic. The first man held up a pair of special scissors._

_Keith must have blacked out for a moment before pain licked his wings where the feathers and bone met his back. He wanted to curl up as agony ripped through his body. His wings felt like fire was burning through them, and his soulmate bond grew weak. He could feel something slick run down his back as he screamed silently. Moments went by the same way until one of the other people mumbled something to the man. Another dose of drugs entered his body as he panted, and new pain ran through him._

_"It's not like he'll be your soulmate much longer anyway."_

_'Bye, Takashi,' Keith whispered in his head as he hoped the man heard. Feeling exhaustion creep into his system, he started to drift. Something warm trickled from his nose as he heard someone shout over his head. He couldn't make out who it was as he succumbed to the tiredness. His world faded as his bond sizzled out of existence._

Keith bolted awake. His blanket smothering his body, securing his wings, and he thought he was back at the lab. It took him close to an hour to finally calm down enough to be able to think correctly. He desperately wrapped his wings around himself as he searched his bond.

It was there, but it wasn't.

A gut-wrenching sob left his mouth as he buried his head in his knees. Counting in his head, he ran every phrase that Shiro had ever said as a way to calm down. That barely worked, so he hopped out of bed. Letting his feet lead him, he was in the Black Lion's hangar before he knew it. Stumbling up the opening ramp, he settled into the pilot's chair.

"Where is he?" He begged as he rested his hands on its pedals, "We need to find him. He's the Black Paladin. I can't lead like him. I can't lead like you."

His voice cracked at the end as the tears gathered in his eyes. Soon, they pooled down his cheeks and landed with soft splats on the floor of the mechanical beast.

"I can't be you," he swallowed thickly as he tenderly held the black bayard, "I...why did you make me the leader? I'm terrible at it, and I can barely take care of myself right now. I'm the loner, you should have chosen someone else."

No one replied.

Keith rested his head on his knees as his wings wrapped around him. He missed Shiro just as badly as the first time he had disappeared. The team may have been there, but Keith felt more alone then he ever had in his life.

"Tomorrow," he whispered as his bond with the Black Lion wavered with his lion's and his soulmate bond, "We'll find him tomorrow."

The only answer he got was two sets of rumbling purrs from the two lions.

\-----

_Keith stared at Shiro. He knew he was having another nightmare. Sometimes, he just knew he was. This Shiro was looking at him with an anger and disappointment his Shiro had never used. His wings were pulled back, and his fists were clenched loosely at his sides._

_"Maybe it would have been better if we weren't soulmates," fake Shiro stated with a frown as Keith tried not to feel hurt, "You did let your wings be removed."_

_"I...Shiro," Keith began protesting but gave up; the older man was right. Keith hadn't fought enough. He could have gotten on the hover bike sooner. He could have watched out for that fourth person that night. He could have held onto the bond harder than he had. He could have done something afterwards other than go off into the desert to the shack. He should have._

_"I can't give them the knife," Keith heard himself frown as he stared at the hologram, "I need to know. You can't stop me, Shiro."_

_"You're only thinking of yourself, as usual."_

_Keith closed his eyes. He was being selfish. Just like Lance had stated all those times. He was selfish for wanting somewhere to call home. He was selfish for wanting to know about a past he couldn't remember. He was selfish for hoping that his soulmate would understand._

_"Shiro," he breathed out as he stared at grey eyes, "You're my soulmate, but I have to do this."_

_"No, you don't," Shiro's gaze turned dark as Keith barely refrained from wincing, "Just give them the knife so we can go."_

_"I can't do that," Keith stated sternly as he watched the fake, "I've made my decision."_

_For a moment, it looked like Shiro was going to argue with him more, try to convince him to give up. But seconds later, he looked resigned in a way that chilled the younger man._

_"Then you've chosen to be alone," Shiro turned and started walking away. Each step, Keith could feel the bond between them fade. He clenched his knife in his injured right arm as he saw his eyes reflected in the blade. Was it right that he put his past over what he had now? He finally had someone who cared. Someone who was his home. A team that stood behind him. Friends who genuinely liked him for him and not just what he could do or his attitude. A purpose. An ability to protect others like he had never been. Suddenly, he didn't care if this Shiro wasn't the real one._

_"Shiro!" He reached his left arm out as he started tromping after the man, "WAIT!"_

_Shiro ignored him. Not much longer, Keith lost him to the blare of blue light, galaxy-colored wings, black and white armor, and body all gone. Ready to cry out again, the light burned scarlet and purple as infamous eyes stared at him from the fading light._

_"You fight like a Galra soldier," Zarkon's voice rumbled as Keith's breath caught in his throat, "You can join the Empire. Serve us, and you can have the Champion back."_

Keith fell out of the chair with a startled gasp. Scanning the room, he calmed down when he remembered he was in the Black Lion. Feeling the sweat on his body, he took a few deep breaths.

"Shiro would want you to lead," he huffed as he laid his head on Shiro's seat, "He's out there somewhere. And you're going to find him. But for now, he'd want you to be with the team."

Keith heard the low rumble of Red and Black in his mind as if both machines agreed with him. Feeling a small smile tug on his lips, he thanked them before getting up.

At the doorway, he glanced back one more time to the empty seat. He promised himself he was going to get back to Shiro. He was going to find the man he loved. Even if he has to do it as many times as it takes.

**Author's Note:**

> From now on, the stories will skip around timewise. I'll try to mention, tag, or make it noticeable in story.
> 
> Up next, Pidge finds the files of what happened to Keith.
> 
> You can find me at **iamstuckinfandom** on Tumblr.


End file.
